Recovery has a voice. We know, because we hear it every day. It’s a voice of overcoming, of endurance, and of triumph. It’s a voice of strength, honesty, hope, and power. Meet Greg Vernelson and hear his voice of recovery. Donate today to Healing Transitions' National Recovery Month and give more people a voice: https://healing-transitions.org/NRM/
All right. If you wouldn't mind stating your name and your age for the record. My name is Gregory, ver Nelson, and I'm 61. I'll be 62 on September 20th of this year. All right. And your sobriety date? Uh, September 12th, 2019. All right. And first question we have for you is gonna be describe your life before recovery.
My life before recovery was. Uh, it was empty. Uh, I, I was, I was never satisfied. I was always wanting more. Uh, I was never content. I, I didn't have any contentment in my life. I was hopeless. Uh, I was, I was chasing something that I didn't know what I was chasing after, and, uh, drugs just fell into that, that category.
And, uh, I, it was. Long and slow spiral down to homelessness, uh, living in my car. And, uh, actually when I came into recovery, I had 27 cent in my pocket and, and, uh, no hope at all. No hope even, even once I stopped using the drugs, I, I, I still had no hope that anything would ever be different. All right. That leads us to, uh, when did you hit rock bottom and what did that look like for you?
Route bottom for me, really? The, the, I think the, the, the main event, if I had to put my finger on one, one thing was, uh, I had, um, I had been living, I had been living in my car. Um, I, my wife and daughter had, had moved away because they just couldn't put up with me anymore. Um, I'd, I'd run away from my business.
Uh, and I had, I was on the streets of Asheville. And I just got to the point where the drugs and alcohol were not working anymore to kill the pain. And the pain was so severe that, um, I, I, I didn't wanna live anymore. So I, I called my daughter and basically said, You know, I just wanna tell you goodbye and I'm sorry for everything.
And she, she figured out what I was gonna do. And she said, she said, daddy, don't do it. And I said, well, you don't understand. Even if I stop right now, I've crossed the line in the sand that can't be uncrossed. And, and I'm probably gonna spend the rest of my life in prison for the things I've done. She said, I don't care.
And I said, but you don't understand. And I kind of hollered at her through the phone. I said, why, what? You know? And she said, because I need you. And right then I realized at that moment that, uh, all the people that I had come into contact on the streets and, and over the years, we, we all had one thing in common.
Somebody that we had needed or wanted in our life had let us down. And here I was about ready to. Hang up the phone with my daughter and commit suicide. And when I realized that it's like, the scales fell off my eyes and, and I said, you know, okay then I, and I said, these words to my daughter on the phone.
I said, okay, I choose life. And at that point, I, I didn't know what life was gonna look like, smell like tastes like, or feel like I kind of felt like I felt like it was gonna be hopeless and empty and, and I was gonna end up in prison. Um, but I made that commitment to choose life. And at that point, My life began to turn around.
And, uh, a few days later I drove myself to treatment in Greensboro, North Carolina. Okay. And, uh, if you wouldn't mind telling us about your life now in active recovery, my life now is completely, completely different. Uh, coming up on, I have three years and about 10 days, or I don't know, maybe, uh, 12 days I have three years clean and sober.
Um, I'm, I'm, I'm active in my daughter's life. Um, my wife and my wife and I. As close as we've ever been. Um, I have a job that I've been working at ever since. Uh, before I left the healing transitions, I've worked my way up in that company until I now have my, I have the respect of my boss. I have my own office.
Uh, I'm a, I, I project manage, uh, large jobs, construction jobs for the company. Uh, I take care of all the vehicles. Um, I live in a recovery house with four other recovering alcoholics and addicts. Uh, I don't, I don't worry about, uh, where my next meal's gonna come from or how I'm gonna put gas in my car. Um, I'm able to just, uh, move forward in my life.
I, I have a home group. I, I attend a, a downtown group. AA here in, in Raleigh that meets downtown. Uh, I come back into healing transitions once a week and bring a meditation meeting into the, into healing transitions. I've been doing that ever since I left two years ago. Um, life is rewarding now and, and I've learned.
Like I, I started this up, I started this interview out saying I was never satisfied. Uh, I had no contentment. I didn't know how to deal with uncertainty, which my life was full of uncertainty. Now, today in recovery, I know how to manage my emotions. I know, I know. I know what it is to feel contentment. I know what it is to be, uh, To be content with the way things are and except things the way they are now, and not wish they were different, which creates undue suffering.
Whenever I, I wish things were different than they were. It just creates suffering that, uh, that feeds my addiction. Whereas today I'm content. Um, I understand UNC. Of life and, and I'm able to deal with the uncertainty of life on a daily basis, moment by moment. And I, I don't, I, I lay my head on my pillow at night tonight.
I mean, every night I lay down and I go to sleep, but in active addiction, I couldn't lay down. I couldn't go to sleep. I, I, my mind would never stop. I was always worried. Wondering what, what the next hammer was gonna be, that would fall. And I, I don't have that problem today. And that is, that is the most rewarding part of recovery is being able to lay my head on my pill at nights and go right to sleep.
Okay. Uh, you've done a good job answering. That was the next question was gonna be, uh, what has recovery given you? But I think you've pretty much covered a lot of oh, okay. I'm so good. No, you're fine. And uh, last question we have is gonna be, what does recovery mean? It means, it means I'm the definition of recovery when you ask it that way, it sounds like you're asking for the definition of recovery to me.
And, um, it's hard to tell you the definition of recovery without explaining what recovery is. Um, for me, recovery is, is being a father, a husband, an employer, a brother, uh, somebody that, uh, another addict can count. It's being a man of my word. It's, it's being content in the midst of the storm. I mean, uh, life still goes on there's storms, raging all around and finding contentment and peace in the midst of that storm is what recovery means to me.
I mean, it, it it's it's, it is living happy, joyous, and free in the midst of the chaos and the uncertainty of. And that's the definition of that is serenity.
Okay. And, uh, the additional questions for you here is what does recovery mean to you? Recovery means living life on life's terms. It means, um, learning how to, to handle the pain of life. Without suffering through the pain of life. I mean, life, life comes at me and recovery recovery allows me to face life on life's terms without wishing things were different without, uh, fantasizing about what I wish things were like or what life things could be like, accepting things as they are that's recovery recovery.
The key words to me in recovery are acceptance and willingness. Okay. And what has recovery given you? It's given me my life back. I know that's a cliche and that's the answer everybody gives, but it really, it, it, you know what I'm gonna change that recovery has given me a new life. It did not gimme my old life back because my old life was one of discontent, uh, frustration, uh, uh, not fitting in, not feeling.
Fulfilled not feeling like I deserve anything or, or, and it, and so recovery has given me a new life, uh, a completely different life today. There's a, there's a level of, of, of. Contentment, I keep using that word, but, but that is, that is the key right now, uh, in my life at this early stage of recovery is, is being content in all situations and, and just not beating my head against a wall, wishing things were different than they are.
And so it's given me that peace and, and that piece that passes all understanding. All right. Thank you very much for your time, Greg. I do appreciate it. No problem. Um, yeah, this should work, so thank you.